When I join the company, I sit down simply as a new
colleague, looking forward to fellowship with others. We are planning an event
that aims at breaking down walls of division and bringing people together,
regardless of our theological differences.
However, I am quickly made aware of the fact that I am the
only African - sitting down for a meal with 10 other people (all British).
He sits next to me - very opinionated and clearly the
conversation maker. I don't know how - but suddenly the conversation is about
the group of Africans that have a meal at his church once a month. He explains
that they clearly have no table manners - they "pick up the food with
their hands and stuff their mouths". He then says: "They've invited
me often to eat with them, but I conveniently think up an excuse, because I
really don't want to eat with them".
Sometimes I wish it was more obvious that I was black. Maybe
then, people wouldn't be so blatantly honest about their prejudices.
He then turns to me and says: "How did you deal with
that when you were in Africa?" Everyone looks at me. I can sense the
nervousness. I say to him (sarcastically): "I am an African. And that is
how I eat too?" "Oh," he says, "but you're not eating like
that now." I can feel the anger rising up in me. And I calmly respond:
"I am sitting at a British table!"
Someone then raises a completely different topic and the
conversation continues. From that point I feel like someone sitting outside of
the fellowship - observing a conversation that I am not part of.
The group meets at the homes of different members on a rota
basis - and has a meal together. Do I
take my turn and put "stywe pap" and red meat on the table (without
forks and knives)? Alternatively - do I just stay away? I am so tired of
fighting this type of battle.
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